Wine Mixed With Water

Within biblical context, wine is a representation of joy, celebration and festivity, expressing the abundant blessings of God. For the sake of this verse, the joy aspect will be the main focus. First of all, what is joy? Joy is a feeling of great pleasure and happiness, but in biblical terms it is something so much more. Happiness and great pleasure come out of circumstance, but we all know that those circumstances aren't always around when we need them to be. When we are afflicted, how can we be happy? When our hearts are hurting, where is that great pleasure? It is nowhere to be found. This is because true joy flows only from the Lord. Joy is something we either have or we don't have, and it's all dependent on our relationship with our Father. When we are rightly related to Him,abiding in Him as the branch abides in the vine, we will bear the fruit of the Holy Spirit, one of which is the fruit of joy. It's something natural that grows within our life when our minds are set on the Spirit. Joy is what helped Christ to endure the cross, “who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12:2) Joy is what will get us through our afflictions as James says, “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds.” (James 1:2) Joy is what’s acquired by the anticipation, acquisition or even the expectation of something great or wonderful. Joy is knowing that what lies ahead, the glory which shall be revealed to us, the heaven that awaits us, is so much greater than the trial we face now. The joy of the Lord is literally our strength to get through anything.  As Nehemiah said, “...do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” (Nehemiah 8:10)

We understand what joy is now, how we make it our own, but what takes it away? If we are living joyless today, especially in our dark hours, how come we have lost that joy? There can be a number of things, but from my own experience I would like to share. In John 16:22 Jesus says something interesting, and seemingly contradictory “...no one will take your joy from you.” Well then where is my joy? No one took it from me, therefore there's only one way I lost it… I lost it. By my own doing I have lost my joy. Has the joy been magically evaporated, never to be found again? No. I simply have to go back and find out where I left it and put it back on. When we lose our joy, it can be a number of things, but it boils down to one thing, we took our eyes off God. We stopped intentionally focusing our gaze upon Jesus and His goodness and started looking to our own troubles, fears, unhappiness and pains. I love the way Paul puts it when he says “For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.” (Romans 8:6) When our mind, our heart, our soul is set upon Jesus, we will experience life and peace. The things of this world are so trivial, so passing, and we do wrong to set our minds upon them. Surely we have responsibilities, but it becomes an issue when we are looking more at what we have on our plate, rather than who we are in Christ.

Let us not mix our wine with water. Water serves only to dilute that which we are meant to take in its fullness. At a certain point, we can have so much water in our life that we won't taste the effect of the wine! What water are you mixing with your wine today? There is something that is diluting your joy, somewhere you left your joy; remove the things which dilute, go back and find the joy. It make take time and discipline, and the longer you've been missing your joy, the longer it would take to regain it, but spend time meditating upon the word of God. Remembering His promises and implanting His goodness in our hearts is the quickest way to fullness of joy.  

Living and Walking

Galatians 5:25

NKJV

“If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.”

The “if” in this is not just a hypothetical thing for those who are in Christ, it is a realized thing. We can interpret it more in the way of “since we live” because Christ has given us His Spirit. Jesus said that it is the Spirit which gives life, and that the flesh is no help at all. This is so important to remember as we come to the Lord each day, because we are easily tripped into relying on other things for our life. Our lives are now hidden with Christ, and we are primarily spiritual beings before we are carnal; we are new creations in Him. Paul says in Ephesians 2:6 “And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus.” Therefore, we truly have lives marked by the Spirit of God, and every aspect of our lives is brought into the spiritual realm.

Since we understand that Christ has raised us up with Him to sit in heavenly places, and we live our earthly lives in the power of His Holy Spirit, what do we then do? How are we called to go about our day? What manner of life are we to lead? First of all, we aren't meant to lead. We are meant to follow. “Follow me” is what Jesus so often asked people to do, and that command has not changed. We are made to be led, even if we have leadership skills. Ultimately our leading comes from the Good Shepherd, Jesus Christ and He beckons us to follow Him wholeheartedly. Secondly, Paul is asking us to walk in the Spirit because we live in the Spirit. Walking can mean so many different things though, and to get a proper understanding we need to know what Paul’s original intent was. The word “walk” in the Greek means, in this context, to walk in a straight line and to conduct oneself rightly. Translated into the verse, it then says this, “let us walk in a straight line and conduct ourselves rightly in the Spirit.” Such a wonderful picture of the life of a Christian this paints! Once again I'm reminded of God’s call to “be holy, as I am holy.” We are not left without the ability to do so! Jesus has given us His Spirit to walk in this way. So today, as we walk with Jesus, as we strive for that divine holiness of life, let us not do it in the flesh, but by the Spirit of God.

Keeping The Heart

Psalms 27:14

NKJV

Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!

How do you hold up when the trials press down? When strength wavers, and our hearts droop, what do we look to for refreshment? Recently I've been blessed to have endured a trial that the Lord used to chasten my heart. God has shown Himself to be a jealous God (Nahum 1:2) and will not allow His children to hew out broken cisterns when He has an overflowing fountain available for them. I'm thankful for the ways and works by which God directs our affections to Himself, firmly, but also gently.

Many of us can relate to drinking drips from the broken vessels of this world. We all know what our flesh reaches out for to gain strength, comfort, relief or healing. Even more so we know how they never satisfy. This week I've been shown where true sustenance lies, in a way that I can proclaim that I've tasted and seen that the Lord is good. The Lord had allowed sickness to come upon me, and while for many reasons, one stuck out the most, and that is why I've chosen this verse. Throughout the entire time I was sick, the Holy Spirit had this verse ringing in my ears. I can confidently say that man does not only live by bread alone but by every word which proceeds from the mouth of God. Gods Word gave me the strength I needed to press on through the trial, and come out the other side in closer communion with Him. There is something so wonderful about the dark days and how the light shines so brightly for us. We can truly understand when the Psalmist writes that “even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me,” it is a reality for us.

The most difficult thing was not the sickness, but maintaining my mind and hearts posture towards the Lord through it. It's so easy to fall into wrong thoughts about God and ourselves, and so hard to say “Bless the Lord!” Job gives a wonderful example of suffering to us, how he didn't lose faith in his God even though he lost everything else. He could not be brought to curse God because of his circumstances, and so the Lord desires of us that same heart. Those moments where there is no way out but waiting are crucial for us to maintain our hearts, to keep the loins of minds girded up. Once even the smallest foothold is given to Satan through the thoughts he sneaks in, he creeps in deeper and deeper and we find ourselves trapped in our own minds. Every thought must be taken into captivity under the name of Jesus. Otherwise, we are an open target, fresh bait just waiting defenseless for any work of darkness to make us it's slave. Check your heart when you're in the trial, ask the Lord for Scripture to lean upon, and don't let a single thought take root without it first being taken into the captivity of Christ.

Thirst

Psalm 63:1

NKJV

“O God, You are my God; Early will I seek You; My soul thirsts for You; My flesh longs for You In a dry and thirsty land Where there is no water.”

At one point or another in our life, we will know what it feels like to be parched. A thirst beyond thirst, where every fiber of being longs to be satisfied with even the smallest drop of sustenance.We may look around, high and low, near and far to gain this relief. Some may even find it, but it's only temporal. When in a dry and thirsty land, the resources are so limited. From horizon to horizon our eyes only behold the dryness of the desert we've ended up in. We wonder achingly whether or not help will come, or a spring will rise up from the earth, or water pour out of the rock like it did for Moses. When it gets to this point, without being rightly related to God, we lose hope. Before coming to God with our thirsts, our parchments, we must go through Christ and be washed in His blood. None can enter the throne room of God without purity, purity which comes only by Jesus’ atoning sacrifice. Once we have walked through the door that Jesus has opened for us, we can begin to cry out for our God to quench our thirst.

God does not use the water of the natural world to satisfy our thirsty souls. Sooner or later, earthly water will need to be provided again, or we could find ourselves dead. We can correctly relate the world we live in to be this earthly water, which never fills that hole inside of us. So many things cry out to us like harlots on street sides, seducing us into thinking eternal satisfaction lies in the pleasures of life. The lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life are nothing to joke around with. They are dangerous, even to the life of a believer. If Peter warned us in his first letter to “be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour, (I Peter 5:8)” then how serious it is that we do so! This is where death lies in wait, when we are least expecting it, when we stop being watchful for it. The wages of sin are death, and everything the world has to offer us is sinful in its very nature, for it resists the things of God and chases towards it's own desires and lusts. Greed, hatred, deceit, immorality, pride, striving, lusting, idolatry, all these are trademarks of the world we live in. This world is the dry and thirsty land where there is no water. Since a human can't last more than a few days without water, how can we expect to truly live off the false sustenance the world gives us? We can't, but there is One who can give us just what we need to live again.

The water God provides us is living, and is offered to us through the living Christ. For life to be given, there has to be life to give away. Since our God is limitless, and does not know anything but overflowing abundance, we can trust our Source to be faithful all through eternity. At one word He created all the waters of the earth, breathed life into Adam, fashioned the stars we look at during the night. Similarly, with one word He can pour out the living water we need to sustain us and bless us in our temporal abode. We can receive rest for our souls, peace in our hearts, and joy in every fiber of our being. This is a reality for some Christians, and yet for others it's not. Why? I'm learning this still, but I've come to know one thing about why; we are unwilling to yield everything to Christ. Gods perfect peace is only attained through surrendering every minute detail of our lives to Him, and then trusting Him to keep us in fellowship with Him. We were not saved by works, and we certainly aren't expected to maintain by works. Even our Christian walks are deeply fed through the grace of God, and if we want the life God has for us, well, it all begins with surrender. Let us always seek our Father earnestly, desiring to know where and how we can more fully surrender ourselves to Him, and then let us wait upon Him to follow through with His abiding presence.

Following Mercies

Psalms 23:6

NKJV

“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”

Gods mercy follows me, for all of the days of my life. Both those days where I walked not with Him, and while I now do. His mercy has gone after me and covered all those things which I have done out of the evil of my heart. I have no reason to fear that what I have done in the past will bite and devour me in the present or future. God's mercy has covered it in the blood of Jesus. Had God not been merciful, I would not have ever received salvation. God's mercy is pivotal to my life. I have not received that which I deserve because of it, but rather I've been given abundantly more than I deserve. This abundance is a declaration of God's goodness. When I look back at the things Jesus has covered in His blood, I can clearly see the goodness of the Lord there too. Others will be able to look at my life and hear my testimony and glorify God because of who He is and what He’s done. From the perspective of a sheep, as this is written, they are able to look back in humble adoration of their wonderful shepherd who has always been there not only to help and heal, but forgive, bless, and to show compassion. They have the confidence of blessing in this life and the next, for they know that they will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

His mercy also goes before me, for my Shepherd leads me and He is merciful, preparing the best and safest way for my passage. Whatever I'm fearing in the future where I'm in need of mercy, I can rest assured that I’ll meet it there. I can have faith, the assurance of things not yet seen. Though I don't see it now, I can believe and trust that it's already taken care of. There are so many thoughts to take captive into the obedience of Christ each day, and fears of the future are one of them. God hasn’t given us a spirit of fear, and we can be sure that Gods goodness and mercy is greater than our fears of the future. Lately my vision of our God as a Father has been growing, and I'm learning to appreciate more and more his role as a Father. Psalms 103:13 says “As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear Him.” This is a wonderful promise, and by Gods grace we can attain and claim it as our own, and become children of God who fear Him.

The feelings of fear of the future which we harbor in the docks of our heart can be paralyzing in our walks with God. Let us take encouragement from this “Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!” (Psalms 27:14) While the waves crash, rest in the fact that our beloved Saviour is walking on the water towards us, and the word will soon be spoken to calm our tempestuous hearts.

Love will never let us go. God has a firm grip on your life and mine, His love will never fail us and His mercy joyously follows us! Praise the Lord!

The Good Shepherd

John 10:11

NKJV

“I am the good shepherd…”

The ministry of the good shepherd has so many wonderful aspects to it. Instantaneously one may think of Psalm 23 when they hear of God being our shepherd, and they are not wrong. Psalm 23 is full of wonderful analogies that can bring the deepest and greatest comforts to a Christian at any period of their life. However, there is also what Jesus has to say about His role as our good shepherd, and this is what I would like to expound upon a bit this time around.

First off, our good shepherd is not a thief nor a robber. He does not come in unannounced, forcefully, or in the dark. He is not overcome by an evil desire to scatter the sheep, to steal them, or to kill them. His presence in the night does not cause us to fear, as a thief would. Rather, He comes in through the gate, and we know it is Him because of how He comes. The gatekeeper will only open at the voice of the shepherd of the sheep. Jesus comes to us through the gates of His Word and prayer, and that is how we can know it is Him and not a thief or robber. How else do we know it is Him?

We can know whether the voice we hear is our good shepherd by two simple things, a voice and a name. Jesus says that “the sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name.” (John 10:3) When we are God's children and we are counted as sheep among His flock, we will know the voice of Him. His voice is unlike any other, in that it's gentle, quiet, comforting, truthful, and it overpowers all the other voices in our heads. When we hear it, we are put at ease, and it's sound calms the raging sea inside of us. At one word from our shepherd, the wolf will flee, the sea calm, and the clouds give way to beautiful sky. Anxiety, fear, depression, self-consciousness, self-pity, anger, confusion, all goes when we hear His voice! Not only this, but He also calls us by name! Our God, the one who created the heavens and the earth, time and space, matter and atmosphere, knows me by name. He knows you by name. Think about those you love, those you would die for, those who have been by your side and you trust. You know their name don't you? Chances are you know their whole life story. Well, God is the same. When He knows our name, it means so much more than a name. That name is simply an identifier for one of His beloved children, and it's a name He can never forget about because it's engraved upon the palm of His hand. We can trust Him because He knows our name, and thus He knows our needs, our stories, our strengths and weaknesses.

Lastly, our good shepherd leads us out and when he has brought us out he goes before us. The only way someone will follow is if they trust the one who leads. A sheep fully trusts it's shepherd, and thus is willing to follow after his voice, and will by no means follow the voice of a stranger but rather flee from it! This opens up a deep question for each heart that follows Christ: do you really trust Him? We all know what it's like to hear and feel the nudge of the Holy Spirit to act or speak in love. We have all heard the Shepherds voice leading us out. But, we don't always follow it. Perhaps we hesitate, or put a carnal spin on it, or don't listen at all. Why is this? We lack trust. We would rather lean on our own understanding than trust in the Lord with all our heart. How do we solve this issue then? Jesus has an answer for that as well. When the disciples couldn't cast out a demon, they asked Jesus why they couldn't. His response? They had little faith, and faith is trust!! Jesus went on to tell them that it can only come out through fasting and prayer. And that is what we must do if we ever wish to be freed from the chains which hold us back from following the voice of our Good Shepherd. The gravity of the calling does not matter, what matters is our trust in God. A sheep who trusts his shepherd will go anywhere with him, will we do the same with ours? When He calls us, especially with the hard sayings, the places we want to avoid, the situations we would like to shrink back from, the callings we fear because of uncertainty, let us trust the One who has gone before us and loves us.

The Lord is With The Righteous

Proverbs 15:29

ESV

“The Lord is far from the wicked, but He hears the prayer of the righteous.”

The thing that turns off Gods leading in our lives is disobedience, sin. Our God will always be next to us no matter where we go, but there's a difference to being next to and being with someone. The Psalmist has said in Psalm 139:8 “If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.” When it is said of someone that God is with them, it means that they have the Lord on their side. God is an ally to those He is with. God will incline His ear and listen to the prayers of those who live righteously, who follow His commands and walk in His ways. God is proud to be seen with His righteous ones, and loves to listen to their prayers and answer them.

When God is next to someone however, it's similar to what the Psalmist says “If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.” God does not support the conduct of the wicked and the fact that they purposefully dwell in hell. In fact, He despises it. Nevertheless, He is always there, whether we acknowledge it or not. He loves the sinner, but abhors the sin. What then is meant by Him being far from the wicked? Well, let's remember that God is light, and more importantly that in Him is no darkness at all. The two can have absolutely no fellowship together, because darkness is the absence of light, therefore they can not be intermingled. However, they can be beside one another. A shadow only casts when light is present. When you look at a shadow, the distinction between the light and the dark is undeniable. God and His relationship with those who make their bed in hell, who follow wicked ways, and deny Christ, is the same way. Though they are polar opposites, they can exist right next to each other, yet it remains the farthest distance in the world.

So if those who are wicked are far from God, then those who are righteous couldn't be any closer! Christ is our light, and when we abide in Him, we abide in the light. As a child of God, my days get to be spent in the freedom of light, and in fellowship with my Father. There is no longer anything or anyone to fear. Those who live in the dark are in a constant state of fear, but for us who have been born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Christ from the dead, we've been given a spirit of power, love and a sound mind. For a long time I thought that because I have the Holy Spirit I shouldn't be subject to troubles and trials, that there shouldnt ever br spiritual battles. No, we have the Holy Spirit to give us power, love, and sound minds to get us through those hardships. I just love how Peter puts it in his first letter, “In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” (I Peter 1:6-7) That is why God allows our sufferings! Job faced the same thing, we all do. We go through immense battles with the world, ourselves, and the Devil as a Christian, and we must take comfort knowing that God is intimately involved in all of it. Our faith is being purified, our hearts conformed to Christ, and our minds are being renewed through every difficult hour we face. God didn't give us His Spirit to deliver us from trouble, He gave it to deliver us in trouble. We have a promise that as we live in the light as He is in the light, He will never fail hear our prayers nor will He leave us to fight our battles alone.

Seasons Come, Seasons Go

Genesis 1:5

NKJV

“God called the light Day, and the darkness He called Night. So the evening and the morning were the first day.”

There are seasons of darkness, and seasons of light. This guarantee we have in this life, that there will always be a cycle of night and day. Neither will endure forever, but we can't escape their inevitable coming. Joy will always come in the morning. The evening is not always twelve hours, it can be shorter or longer. Learning to patiently persevere in the night, and receive the blessing that it brings is of utmost importance. If we lose heart then, how will we see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living? The night, the darkness, the blackness, is what makes us appreciate the light. Honestly, I've been living in a lot of night these past seven months. The morning thankfully always comes, but it runs shorter than the night. I am where Peter was before he looked at the Lord after denying Him. Peter was self-pleasing, self-trusting, self-seeking, and full of sin, even though he faithfully followed Christ. This life of self is still strong in me. I've left my boats and nets, but my old self is not yet fully surrendered to Jesus. Only when Peter wept bitterly and was later baptized in the Holy Spirit did he truly become a new creation. He finally understood what it meant to deny himself, pick up his cross, and follow Christ. This is where I've been stuck. The denial of Christ is more active than the denial of self. Those are the only two camps a Christian can live in; denial of self or denial of Christ. I believe the greatest barrier for me coming to the end of myself is my unbelief in Gods ability to do the impossible. I've seen Him do it so many times for others, yet there still remains unbelief that He can do it for me. I have the knowledge of it, but lack faith in it. It is easy to say it, but another to believe it. At this point, my only hope in becoming truly the new creation in Christ, is in Christ. Now it is a waiting game. I trust that God is omniscient and that He fully knows my heart, my prayer, and the desire and will to become one who's life is defined by this: absolute surrender. God didn't leave Peter to continue living the self-life when Christ left to sit at the right hand of God. He didn't say “Good luck! Hope you figure things out!” Rather, He worked through His Spirit in Peter and transformed him completely to be a man of bold faith and self-denial. God will do the same for me, because He shows no partiality and has given me the same Holy Spirit that changed Peter. My Pentecost is on its way!

Come!

Revelation 22:17

NKJV

And the Spirit and the bride say, “Come!” And let him who hears say, “Come!” And let him who thirsts come. Whoever desires, let him take the water of life freely.

How blessed are we as children of God that we shall never thirst again! Jesus is our eternal wellspring of thirst-quenching water. No matter what we thirst for, what we hunger for, it can be found in Jesus. Come and taste the living water! Taste and see! There is no limit to His love, and there is no limit to who can come to this indescribable Well. I would be unable to tell in words what His waters are like, what it is like to never thirst again. This is something the heart must experience, not the mouth express.

How blessed are we as children of God that we shall never hunger! Jesus is our bread. He said it Himself! “I am the bread of life.” How can He say this we may ask? How can we eat His flesh, and drink His blood? First off, He is the word made flesh. Everything in Jesus reveals and is according to Gods heart displayed in the Old Testament. Jesus is the Living Word. We do not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God. Surely, Christ is also the mouth of God, therefore He is our bread! Secondly, as we partake in communion, eating the bread and drinking the wine as we come to His table, we are spiritually eating His flesh, His body which was broken for us, and drinking the blood which He bled for us. We take on and identify with His broken body, His shed blood, and we remember what He has done for our life in the process. Our hunger is satisfied in Him.

How blessed are we as children of God to receive this water and bread for free! Isaiah 55:1 says it all. “Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and he who has no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without price.” This is the grace of God on display!! He truly gives us more than we deserve, and all of it without price! All He asks of us is to come! Come to Him through prayer, tell Him what you need, ask Him, seek Him, knock on the doors of heaven, for they will certainly open to you, child of God! Even to those who are not children of God, He says come. For those of us who have gone off the narrow way, who have backslidden, who have yet to even accept Christ, He says come. You don't have to bring anything but yourself, and He will welcome you with open arms as the father welcomed back his prodigal son. I entreat you, come to Him. He has all you need.

Jesus is always beckoning us to come to Him. Gently, gently, He calls our names, He invites us to come to the waters. Gently He speaks, because He knows the tenderness of our hearts. He will not break a bruised reed, nor quench the embers of a heart. Softly He will restore the reed, gently He will fan our embers into a flame. Do not fear to come to Him, bring all of your darkness, all your hurts, all the pain, and all the needs. Even the darkness is as light to Him, and our God is full of mercy and abounding in love for each and every person who comes to Him.

Yet Return To God

Jeremiah 3:1

NKJV

“They say, ‘If a man divorces his wife, And she goes from him and becomes another man’s, may he return to her again?’ Would not that land be greatly polluted? But you have played the harlot with many lovers; Yet return to Me,” says the Lord.

...Yet return to Me. This has to be one of the most incredible things God has ever spoken. From a human standpoint it is pure ludicrousy. What man is there who has such mercy on a lover who has played the harlot? Who asks her to return to him even after all the evil she's walked in? This mercy and forgiveness is foreign to the world. Even to Christians it can be foreign! Our flesh simply wants to take revenge, to block out, to ignore, to hate those who have walked away from us and against us. We are not apt to forgive, and there is nothung natural about forgiveness and mercy. They are strictly divine, for they flow from the One whom they originate in. Our nature is not God’s nature though, and such a relief that is. He is not swayed by our behaviours, our hearts, our sin. Instead, we are an opportunity for God to reveal His mercy and grace, if we allow Him. God’s Word says that Jesus was slain before the foundations of the world. God already had a Saviour in place before man sinned! Had man not sinned, God would have had no need to send a Saviour, His Son, and we would never understand or experience Gods mercy and grace.

God also shows us how powerful the cleansing of Christ's Blood is when He speaks about the great pollution of the land. That land in the case of the shedding of Christ's Blood is applied to our hearts. Our wicked and deceitful hearts have greatly polluted us before God. We are not clean apart from Christ. But God, who has such great mercy on us because He loves us, asks us to return to Him. Let us return to Him constantly, since we so easily get entangled in sin. We need to be washed constantly from where we have walked. We can come boldly to God's throne to receive the cleansing, to receive the mercy and grace our hearts so desperately need. We can have the tendency to think our sin not so great as it truly is. Limiting ourselves to our human understanding is certainly to lead to the misconception of the depth of our sin. Proverbs 3:5 says to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding.” Why else would God asks this of us if it were not true that our understanding is not complete? Even when we think we know it all, there's always more. It is plain ignorance to say we know or understand it all with our sins. Should God even reveal to us the full understanding, we would be unable to bear it and would die! Jesus sweat drops of blood in the Garden of Gethsemane as He took upon Himself the weight of our sin. As the wrath of God for all mankind's sin was poured upon Him, instead of us.

God wants us to return to Him. God wants us to be in His family. God loves us more than we will ever understand. We are His beloved children, and the thoughts He has for us are nothing but peace. He has purposes and plans for us. Return to Him from our harlotry, our wayward lifestyles, our evil habits, or wrong thinking, and confess these things before Him. There is so much more God has for us, yet we limit ourselves because we give room for our evil and wicked hearts to fulfill its desires. Return to your Father, He will not turn you away.

He Saves The Humble

Psalm 18:27; James 4:6b

ESV

“For you save a humble people, but the haughty eyes you bring down.”

“God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

The root of all other evils begins here: pride. That is where it began in the garden of Eden, and so it continues to this day and thrives off the weak, desire-hungry heart of man. Even as Christians our hearts are still so weak without the strength that God supplies us. We cannot defect to our human abilities and preventative measures if we want the life God has designed for us. We are not strong, we are not able, we are not competent. Where we misunderstand those facts, we fall. We are opposed, and we are brought down. We are nothing without the grace of God. Everything we are and become in our relationship with God comes from His hands. Emptiness lies on the other side of pride. Destruction is the end of a haughty spirit. Promises cannot be expected to be fulfilled if our hearts are full of pride over what we've done and what others aren't and we are.

Humility is where pride ends, and the true life begins. This has to be the most difficult things for me to master. Not a day goes by where I'm not growing and learning in this. Bitterness is the most common result of the pride I fight. For a long time I could never understand why my heart was in such a dark place throughout the day, and only recently Jesus revealed that I had roots of bitterness which had gone so deep. The devil had been masking it by telling me I wasn't doing something right in my walk with God. Now it is true that I wasn't, for I wasn't cloaking myself with humility and arming myself with the mind of Christ. But the Devil made it out to be that I wasn't working hard enough for God, that I wasn't being good enough, repenting hard enough, or loving others enough. I wasn't doing enough, he said. So I went on day by day with downcast soul, crying to the Lord to free me from whatever was causing this in me. God showed me that it all began with pride, and it will all end with humility and forgiveness. Humility is so contrary to my human nature, especially in forgiving and asking forgiveness, but I know that since Jesus did it, so must I. He bowed the knee to wash the feet, so must I. More than this though, I need my feet washed by Him. My feet have wandered so far, for so long, and I must begin at the throne of God to receive His grace and tender mercy. Jesus wants our hearts completely, so He can replace them with His, and we will live just like Jesus.

As Trouble Increases So Do Miracles

Psalm 34:17

NKJV

“The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, And delivers them out of all their troubles.”

I've discovered an interesting truth over these past few months. The harder we follow after God, the more we commit ourselves to Him and His work, the more opposition comes our way. When confronted with new experiences, new places, and new depths of Christian life, the Devil will batten down the hatches and get to serious business trying to shut us down. We can never be certain exactly what will be thrown at us, but we can be certain it will be trouble in one form or another. The Apostle Peter says that “your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.” (1 Peter 5:8) The way this often plays out is when we get caught up into routine, when we no longer take heed to be alert and sober-minded wherever we are going. As soon as comfort sneaks in and takes over, the door is swung wide open for us to be devoured. Only when we are in tune with the Word of God and the Holy Spirit are we able to detect when we are being led astray into crooked paths. But, let us not think that trouble only comes through crookedness. Surely our own wayward hearts and decisions lead us into trouble. Quite easily we can ignore the Word of God because it's more convenient for us or we would rather have it our way. There is however, that which comes as a result of being a follower of Christ. Whether it be persecution, famine, nakedness, sword, peril, tribulation or trial, it begins to be thrown at us at alarming rates when we get serious with God. Let us not be alarmed however! These things were promised to come to those who followed Jesus. Many times we find this, but a couple which God has spoken to my heart are when Jesus says “in this world you will have trouble. But take heart, for I have overcome the world” (John 16:33), as well as “Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you.” (1 Peter 4:12) Here we have the very warning, as well as consolation, that we will have trouble, but then we are guaranteed victory. We see the purpose for the trouble, and we see the promise for deliverance out of it once it's purpose has been accomplished. We must learn to trust that God really does work all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. God is building us, strengthening us, refining us, through the fires and troubles the Devil, and even ourselves, throw at us. The Devil is our adversary; he is against us. But if God is for us, who can be against us? When we cry out as ones who are righteous through Christ, He hears, and He delivers!

Vessels For Testimony

Mark 5:19

NKJV

However, Jesus did not permit him, but said to him, “Go home to your friends, and tell them what great things the Lord has done for you, and how He has had compassion on you.”

The Lord wants to use our stories. Although the miracle performed on this once demon-possessed man is incredible, it was only a stepping stone. When Christ saw this man, He did not simply see someone to set free; He saw a dishonorable vessel to make honorable. An earthen, broken vessel which could be used to pour out heavenly treasure. The evil within the man was only a way to create testimony of the power of God, that others may be saved by the word of his testimony. His brokenness was a means to an end, an end much greater than the man ever could imagine. Everyone knew this man. He was not a stranger to those who lived nearby, for it says earlier that they had often tried to bind him and shackle him, yet he would always break free. No one could hold him, and no one could help him. Only God could see him and have compassion upon him and heal him. How true that is with areas of our lives, with family members, with friends. There are things which nothing but the love of God can touch and heal. We will ask why we go through what we do. We will wonder why our sickness persists, our heart hardened, our situation stagnant, our lives seemingly forgotten. I can only imagine what the man trapped inside a body controlled by a demon named ‘Legion’ could have felt. But, God knew about him. Through the many months or years this man was possessed, God was there with him. God knew of his situation, he knew of his trouble and pain. At Gods perfect time, not his, He sent Jesus to intercept him. We must not lose heart while we wait for God to move in the impossible in our lives. When everything can scream you're trapped, God has engineered a perfect circumstance to display His glory, His love, His control of our life. Through the valleys of hardship, and subsequent mountains we reach as Christ moves powerfully and undeniably in our life, we can then testify of the love of God in a way more powerful than ever. I'm sure as all the people in Decapolis saw this once demon possessed man come and speak of the man who healed Him, they were astounded, confused, possibly even scared. It does say they marveled, but how much of the impact this man's story left upon their hearts we won't know till we reach heaven! God chose this man's broken vessel to make others whole.

Something else to note, this man was so thrilled to have been healed by Christ, so empowered by being upon this mountain, that he begged and pleaded to come with Jesus. He wanted to stay on the mountaintop, but God wanted him to go out to his friends to share what God had done in his life and the mercy he experienced! This is what God calls us all to do, to share with our friends the way God is moving in our lives. Not only does it encourage and lift them up, it helps us to further realize Gods hand in our life. Now surely the man would have been slightly disappointed or resistant to going back to his friends, but it's recorded that he went as soon as Jesus said go. He didn't bicker or fight back or resist. He honored the one who healed him. Let us do the same and honor the one who has healed us by His stripes.

Through The Centuries

Matthew 25:46

KJV

“And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?”

God has an awesome, perfect way of bringing promises to pass, and fulfilling Scripture exactly in the lives of those who He loves and love Him. According to Matthews gospel, these were the final words of Jesus. However, from the Gospel of John His final words were recorded as being “It is finished.” Nonetheless, what God had spoken centuries earlier through the lamenting words of David in Psalm 22 came to be spoken by the Son of God in His hour of darkness. The crucifixion and events leading to it reflect from Psalm 22. The exact words which Jesus breathed out before He gave up His spirit were written in Psalm 22:1, “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” The way He was treated is all reflected within Psalm 22. It may have been centuries later, but what David wrote became a reality in the death of Christ. What God spoke, God fulfilled.

What can this mean for me? Quite a few different things. First off, through Christ being forsaken, I never will be. The promise “I shall never leave thee nor forsake thee” is mine to claim. Christ was separated from His father, and knew the darkness we for so long lived in on the other side of the veil, apart from His presence and light. I have a friend in Christ who can identify with and help me in my own dark hours, when everything around me screams that I'm defeated. Yet, Christ knew, and I do as well, that what the world calls defeat is only an opportunity for victory. The only thing which was defeated on the cross was defeat itself. Death was destroyed, and life was brought forth eternally. When the veil was torn, my fellowship with God was signed, sealed and delivered to me through Calvary. The veil is described as being torn from top to bottom. There is a deep significance to this. From the heights of heaven, to the depths of hell, I can never be separated from God. A Pslamist once wrote that even if I were to lay my bed in hell, God would be there with me. Whether I'm in the highest of spirits, or lowest of spirits in my life, I can come boldly to the throne of God, I can dwell and abide in His presence. I have unrestricted access at any point in my life.

Secondly, the earth was shaken and the rocks were split. Both of these things are representative of what only God can do. Who besides God can shake the earth? Who besides God can split a rock without laying a finger on it? None. This is a wonderful thing, for it shows that what we cannot seem to shake off in our life; sin, guilt, shame, fear, anxieties, uncertainties, can all be shaken off through the death of Christ. The hard things in our life, or the hardness of our hearts, can also be split in two, shattered, by the victory of Christ. There is nothing too hard for God, for He is the God of the impossible. What are the rocks in my life? What areas am I hardened in? What can I just not seem to shake off in my own strength? These questions must be asked, and the answers can be boldly brought to God to be dealt with properly. Whatever it is, it's guaranteed to be broken. Jesus said so when he declared “It is finished.” All that's left for us to do is hold the promises, to declare them in prayer over our lives, to shout out the victory over the powers of sin and death in our life. Some take time to be fulfilled, just like David's psalm, but rest assured it will be done.

Lastly, the tombs were opened, and many bodies of the saints who had fallen asleep were raised. There are hidden qualities and gifts in us which God will raise up at the appropriate time, in the right season. Things we never imagined doing or being will spring up from within us as the Holy Spirit works in us. The saintly qualities we yearn to acquire will all of a sudden pour forth from our lives as we seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. Fruit does take time to bear, but it's a truth rooted deeply in testimony that the fruit will come when we seek God. The struggle is persistence, the struggle is consistency, the struggle is self-discipline, the struggle is the war between the flesh and Spirit, when so much is trying to keep us from seeking God, but our Spirit yearns to seek Him. The most crucial days are the days we don't want to. That is where the miracles happen, that is when victory arrives. The days of defeat, when all is gloomy, when we want nothing but to get through the day. The greatest victory will come out of our greatest defeats. For the one who is born again to the living hope, Jesus Christ, every difficulty and defeat becomes an opportunity for victory, and victory is a fact.

The Climb

2 Corinthians 5:7

NKJV

“For we walk by faith, not by sight.”

The process of sanctification is not a walk through peaceful meadows near quiet streams. It is a climb.There are trials, perils, dangers, tribulations, hurts, uncertainties, fears, anxieties, and impossible situations. There are so many evils that Satan, and ourselves, put before us. Not every situation we face is a result of the work of Satan, as Jobs was. More often than not I will get myself into my own trouble by the misguided decisions I make, and I have none to blame but me. My soul can easily become downcast with one foul step to the left or to the right. Spending too long fixing my eyes on what lies off the path will draw me right off the path. There are so many enemies that lie along the path that I'm amazed that I'm actually where I am and not elsewhere living for myself and the world. The many distractions and cares of the world, the lusts of the flesh and eyes, the pride of life, the Devil who snatches away that which God scatters. There is none who gets the credit but God for what's been done to save my life. I had to lose it first before I gained it, but what was lost is not worthy to be compared to what was gained. The promise of life eternal. Let us not forget that which we pass through on the way to heaven though. The climb of sanctification. We do have the promise of eternal life, of a heavenly citizenship and home, but we also have life as we know it in the middle. Death lies behind us, eternal life ahead, and just.. life here. There is a constant groaning within to be further clothed with life, and to put off mortality, because we know what we are living is not the true destination of our souls state. The daily routine is a struggle, to say the least, with all that we know we can do better at. God promises that He uses that all for good though. Each step we take towards becoming an image of Jesus Christ is one of faith. There is no step we take towards the kingdom of God but that which is by faith. We cannot see heaven now, we do not see Jesus now, God does not walk on earth nor us in heaven now. As we take the steps, we are tested. Some steps are massive, those ones which look impossible, that defy all human logic. Steps like Peter made upon the water. Other steps are not so humanly big, such as prayer, or doing an act of love in the name of Jesus. But, it is all done by faith, and all of it brings us closer to Jesus. Something I have learned too is that Jesus is always there to catch us when we fall, and give us a boost on those steps which are beyond our ability (which truly is all of them, for Jesus said we can do nothing apart from Him). Even when we cannot sense His presence, His right hand is there supporting us. That is what I trust in, what has proved reliable, what will never fail me. The upholding hand of a faithful God, who is there for me as I walk by faith and not by sight.

Although it may not be a climb with peaceful meadows near quiet streams, we can have the quietness of those places in our souls, and that peace is in Jesus. We must give our cares, our anxieties, our burdens and our yokes unto Him. He will take it from us and give us rest for our souls. Though the climb may be hectic, our soul will not be, for we will abide in Christ as we walk by faith, not by sight.

Victory.

1 John 5:5

NKJV

“Who is he who overcomes the world, but he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?”

Victory has been guaranteed in my life through the resurrection of Christ. He defeated the grave once and for all, and now anything that could possibly bring death to me can have no dominion over me, for I believe that Jesus is the Son of God. Sin, which brings death, has been laid in the grave for eternity. It's fate has been sealed, even though I still fall to it daily, I have the ability to rise again through Jesus. The power and dominion it once held over me has been destroyed. Over the last couple of months, God has been teaching me how to lay claim upon this victory I have in Christ. While I have yearned for it to be an experience like that of turning on a light switch, it has been more of a process of flipping a multitude of switches in the correct sequence. Not that it is a bad thing, in fact it has been the best road for me. Now that I have been experiencing what defeat feels like under the crushing weight of sin, victory through Christ is all the more sweeter. The bitter gives way to the sweet, and it naturally makes that which is sweet even sweeter. The feeling of defeat is never enjoyable, but had I not been going through various defeats, reaching the end of myself and my limits, I would not know how to properly appreciate the cross of Jesus. The empty tomb would not mean nearly as much as it does today, and that it will in the future. I don't exactly welcome failure and defeat with open arms, but I'm learning to “count it all joy when you fall into various trials.” Aside from learning that, I'm also learning to use my failures for good. They are what enables me to go along the right path, the one which leads to life. It's somewhat like a process of elimination, but with higher costs of pride, comfort, security, time, and effort. The cost is not cheap. But, the results are worth it. As I discover what does not work in pursuing God, I discover with great joy what does. Those discoveries are what draw me closer to God, because His nature and love are revealed to me. The failures make me appreciate all the more His grace, and how faithful and good He is to use the bad for good.

Who am I in light of this verse? I am a victor,  a winner, an overcomer, and more than a conqueror. I am reminded of a verse on a card my mother gave to me, Psalm 18:2. “ The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.” I am none of those things without my God. He is Jehovah-jireh, who provides all I need in order to win, to overcome the world which I am passing through to the final destination, heaven.

When I Am Weak, Then I Am Strong

2 Corinthians 12:10

ESV

“For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Gods strength is made manifest upon my admission of weakness. His power is made perfect in my weakness, and only after my limits are reached can His infinite nature begin to work in me. I am chained to limits in my flesh, and only when I cry out to Jesus am I able to bound over the walls of limit. The struggle along the way has been learning where those limits are. The journey is treacherous, full of dangers, hardships, uncertainty, unpredictability, fears, anxieties, weariness. Everything will come tumbling down as we press on to know where we end, and He begins. Those moments, I have learned, are where it counts. All the hard work that lies behind is worth nothing if I don't take heart when I reach my limit. I have a choice; cry out in faith to the One who saves, who will help me leap over the wall that exists within my ability, or to call it quits and turn back. I would be forsaking the abounding grace of my Father which lies just beyond the cry of my voice to Him who rests in green pastures on the other side, among many brothers and sisters who have gone before me and been helped in their inability by the Lord. The choice is clear, cry out!! He is willing and able to be sufficient to me in my weakness. God will complete that which is incomplete in me through His Son. Apart from Him, I am nothing, and can do nothing. Why then, would I doubt the ability of He who spoke the stars in the sky and made this man of the dust of Earth? Because my mind is set on my flesh, rather than the Spirit. I do not look to the One who is able, I focus so much on my inability! All the time I've spent in vain telling God the disparities of life, when I could've been grasping the grace He has for me in those times! The wicked “I” takes the center stage while all the while God is waiting for me to come boldly to His throne of grace! He has what I need! Will I still myself and let Him fight for me? Yes, but not as often as I'd like to admit. In order for God to work, He must have full control. The potter needs full control of the clay to do His masterful work, and I must fully yield myself and my weaknesses to His hands. He will do what only He can do. Clay cannot in itself fix where it is weak. It needs the hands of one who can identify the weakness, and strengthen it. The greatest difficulty for me has not been the trial itself, but rather the waiting upon God to do what only He can do. Holding fast to the promises He laid centuries ago, and believing Him to bring them to pass in His perfect timing. God doesn't always want to bring instant deliverance from my weaknesses, because He desires to test my heart, to teach me endurance. And I can surely testify that those who wait upon the Lord will not be ashamed, will not be left for dead, or forgotten. He is a faithful God, a wise God, who will never let us down. The Lord will help us by His Spirit to endure the sufferings and weaknesses, and make us better men and women of God as a result. Be still, and know, He is God.

Cast Thy Burden

Psalm 55:22

KJV

“Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.”

The anxieties on the heart of a man have the complete ability to blockade him from the presence of God. I know this first-hand. What does it come from? Lack of trust in God surely, along with a combination of other things. Pride perhaps in trying to figure out a situation, only to find their heart burdened by the weight of what they weren't meant to bear. General slothfulness also will lead to an anxious heart. Things will get messy and then one can feel the pressure to then fix what he broke. I can identify with any number of the causes of a burdened heart. There's nothing that is worse than carrying that which I'm not built to carry. Imagine seeing a man on a bicycle trying yo trailer a gasoline tanker across the country. You’d think they're crazy and would try to help them recognize that a bicycle isn't the right vehicle for the job, but they would stubbornly not listen to you and insist that it's the only way to be done. Yet, don't we do the same thing? We try to carry a gas tanker on our own feeble strength. We carry that which we are not built to carry.

Each and every day I fail to cast all my burdens upon the Lord. My flesh and Satan want nothing more than to keep me loaded down, so they do all they can to keep me distracted and ignorant of what's on my back. I pick things back up so often which I had given into the hands of God. I don't fully trust Him in everything, even though He has shown Himself to be a faithful caretaker of my daily burdens. Yet, praise God for His abounding grace in my times of need and in the depths of sin. Every time I turn again to face God and present Him my burdens, He takes them and my soul is at peace knowing I'm in the care of the Good Shepherd.

The greatest burden of all however is not the daily difficulties and trivial trials. It is, or rather was, sin. Not only the sins I commit, but my sin nature as a descendant of Adam and Eve. It has been crucified with Christ and left in the grave. I still sin, but sin no longer has power to enslave me, since the power of the Blood of Christ has crushed the 0

power of sin and death. I no longer have to fight guilt, shame and condemnation upon my conscience without relief. The cleansing power of the Blood relieves that burden. The greatness of the Cross lifts it off my shoulders as it echoes the words of Jesus “it is finished”. It is finished indeed. Jesus asked us to cast our burdens and anxieties upon Him, for He cares for us. That He does, when we come to Him in faith. He removes from us all our unrighteousness, lifts off the yoke of bondage and slavery, and cleans our consciences from dead works to serve the Living God. He calls us, no, declares us free. Who the Son sets free is free indeed! The sweetness of that freedom cannot compare to any pleasure the world of sin has to offer. To be freed from the wretched master Sin, and brought under the loving care of Jesus is like nothing else. Certainly difficulties come, but we are not meant to bear them either! We are called to give them to God, and to endure them through His Holy Spirit. The suffering produces endurance, the endurance produces character, and the character produces hope which does not disappoint. I yearn to live the life God calls me to and has for me, a life of freedom. The only burden I must bear is light and easy, and that is the burden of His Holy Spirit, which I will gladly bear with all my heart, soul, strength and mind.

God Is Not Man

Numbers 23:19

ESV

“God is not man, that he should lie, or a son of man, that he should change his mind. Has he said, and will he not do it? Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it?”

God is not human, and for that I am thankful. He may have come in the likeness of man through His Son Jesus, but He will never succumb or be moved by the grievances humankind has. His promises will never be redacted. Our hearts are deceitfully wicked above all else, and each day we change our minds dozens of times. All around the world, commitments are broken through divorce, promises broken through selfish desires, and lies and deceit breathed out. We are a fickle creation due to our lust for things other than God, thinking the world has something better to offer than the One who made it! As the Spirit has revealed to me over the last couple days, Satan has been doing all he can to distract me from the promises of God. To forget His words, both those written in His Word and personally spoken. By this Satan has kept me from being as effective for the kingdom of God as I could be. When I am blinded from the promises of God, I lose my strong footing. I lose any hope and expectation I have and get focused solely on the minute distractions I encounter each day, forgetting the greater purpose I have.

Has God said, and will He not do it?

Has God spoken, and will He not fulfill it?

The answer is a firm and planted yes. He will do it, and He will fulfill it. The God who commanded that “Thou shalt not lie” cannot then turn around and lie. He cannot declare false things for it is not in His nature to do so. All throughout His Word, there are testimonies of His faithfulness to fulfill promises. What comes first to my mind is the many battles and enemies David faced. Without fail, when God said He would deliver an enemy into David's hands,David would have victory over His enemies. When God spoke through the prophets concerning the Messiah, He followed through with the coming of the Messiah. These are only a couple of examples, but in both a similar strand can be found of how human nature handles Gods promises. We hate to wait. We lose sight of the intimate and close words which God has spoken to us in the quiet times. We forget that He is a God who never forgets, who never disappoints, and who never fails to do that which He says He will.

Through the last couple of weeks, I've been fighting a losing battle of confusion. Satan has been without fail battering me with distractions, doing anything and everything to keep me from remembering Gods promises towards me. Instead of having His promises on the forefront of my mind, I've had my problems. I exchanged the promise for the problem, rather than showing the problem the power of promise. It's been so easy to allow the flesh to overcome the Spirit and lock down my mind and heart into a place of discouragement and confusion. But, amidst that chaos, as I endured the waiting, God brought a reminder at the least expected time, yet also the perfect time. And that is the reminder that what has been promised will come to pass, no matter what the situation may look like right now. My heart may be a thousand miles away from its destination now, but I have a guarantee through the prayers of Jesus in Gethsemane, that just as the Father and Him are one, so shall the Father and I be one. I have yet to attain the promises which are to come, but I press on in hope and expectation, knowing that what God has spoken will become my reality.

I Have Returned

1 Peter 2:25

NKJV

“For you were like sheep going astray, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.”

God has been bringing the book of 1 Peter alive to me over the past week, and in combination with reading ‘A Shepherd Looks At Psalm 23’, it's no coincidence that God has brought this verse to my attention. As I reflect upon this verse, I'm reminded of the ways I used to live, of how I was like a sheep going astray. Bad habits, bad motives, sinful bondage, evil thoughts and crude words, and pursuing my own life rather than the one God created for me. I was textbook a sheep going astray.

Now, I can look back and praise God for His grace and constant, patient, insistent pursuit of me. Had it not been for Him, I would not be in IGNITE right now, and instead be going to college and hating my life that I chose. God knew what was best for me, and I'm grateful that He brought me to a breaking point to come to His calling. Where the Sheperd of my soul is, is just where I need to be, and He is here. Even now, I go astray each day, falling to sin and turning away from the only one who truly desires the best for me. My old self-life still springs up daily, and some bad habits still remain. It's so easy to fall back into old patterns and be stuck in the fleshly ways. Something which seems so simple, yet is so difficult, is changing the way I start my day. For the longest time, getting right out of bed early to have devotions and exercise has been a desire on my heart. Some days it's easy and it happens, yet more often than not, the flesh wars against the Spirit right as my eyes open and I will lie in bed much longer than I should, and sleep in much longer. I lose precious time which can determine the way my whole day goes. In Proverbs, God speaks a lot about this, and it comes down to purely being a sluggard. To being lazy. While this is a constant battle, I can trust and rest that even on the bad mornings, I can return to the Shepherd and Overseer of my soul from the ways I've gone astray. I know and trust that God will do the work needed in me so I can be victorious, not only in this aspect of life, but in all areas of struggle and constant defeat. He knows me better than I do, and knows just what I need to overcome the enemy. God will shift my priorities in my heart so drastically that it will be inevitable to progress in my faith and life. Progress is relative to priorities and once those are aligned with God's word and will, I will live a victorious life. All along the way, through bad days and good ones, God will continue to shape and mold me into the image of His Son, Jesus Christ. It's simply a matter of time and surrender.