Where He Is, There I Shall Be

John 12:26

NKJV

“If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also. If anyone serves Me, him My Father will honor.”

“and where I am, there My servant will be also.” I recall this past week with Pastor Donathan and the day he shared on John 3:8. The wind blows where it wishes, and likewise the Spirit of God goes where it wishes. Something I need to always be aware of is where He is heading. Attentiveness to the shifting of the Spirit is key for me to stay within the will of my Father. My hands must always be on deck and my eyes open and my ears hearing so I may know the appropriate time to adjust my sails to catch the wind of Gods spirit. Where Gods spirit goes, I desire to be right alongside Him, and behind Him as He goes before me preparing the way.

This is becoming more and more the cry of my heart as I grow closer to God. Not only am I more excited to serve Him and follow Him, I love being alongside Him in whatever He is doing around me. Being present is one of the valuable places to be for me as I’m seeking the Lord and committing my days to Him. There have already been plenty of opportunities I’ve gotten to participate in simply because I was present and put myself in position to be a servant. Oh and the blessings that have come from them!! They’ve been truly priceless, and most if not all have been purposed for deepening the well of my heart. I’ve discovered that the more time I not only spend present, but spend time in His presence, the deeper my well gets and the clearer the purpose for each day and week becomes. For example, this weeks theme is being a servant. At the beginning of this week, the theme just won't hold the weight for me that it will at the end. Through experience, prayer, and Gods word my well of servanthood will be deepened and my heart changed. At the end of all this, I will be honored by the Father too, either in this life or the one to come.

All Members Belong To The Body

1 Corinthians 12:14-15

ESV

“For the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," that would not make it any less a part of the body.”

Another reminder to not compare myself to the Moses’ in the world of ministry. I know God has called me to ministry and there were times where I had found myself shackled to comparisons. One of the leaders had shared a message about Joshua receiving Moses’ ministry that struck me deep in my heart and freed me from those shackles. If I’m a hand, I am not to fill a pair of shoes. I’m to have dexterity, flexibility and the ability to grasp and handle. I’ve seen this true plenty of times coming from a large church, where there are many different people who represent many parts of the body. It would be easy for the usher to look to the pastor and ask “Why am I here? I have no use compared to him.” But the truth is, the church wouldn't function as it should without the usher, and the same applies to the pastor, the volunteer, the media team, or the sound guy. Each part of the body plays a very specific role that is needed for the body of Christ to be healthy. I have found myself entertaining those same thoughts of feeling useless while serving before. But more often than not its looking to the pulpit and hearing the calling to it and feeling useless compared to who stands there. Little did I know, what I saw in myself as useless God is using to glorify Himself. I have certainly not reached the goal but I continue to press on, and feel the growth each and every day. I’ve learned to not compare my walk and calling to that of others, and having Pastor Donathan in this week surely helped to bring even more freedom to that. It could be easy for one to compare Pastor Don who oversees all of Calvary Chapel and Pastor Donathan who disciples a couple dozen young adults currently, and say that one position is more desirable or more successful than the other. But, it surely is not so in Gods eyes, and seeing how God is using both these men, who are different parts of the body of Christ, to glorify Himself, has opened my eyes to what its all about. Live a life of worship that glorifies God and follow where the wind of Gods Spirit blows you. Where it sends you is up to God, and don't look to your friend in the other boat and envy where God has sent them to. Be content and thankful that God has chosen you to partake in His glorious plan. You're still a part of His body and wants to use you to glorify Him in a way no one else can.

The Strong Support The Weak

Romans 15:1

NKJV

“We then who are strong ought to bear with the scruples of the weak, and not to please ourselves.”

There were numerous examples of this verse throughout my childhood, and many others as well. When I was too weak and too small to complete a task, someone who was stronger, older, and more experienced would come and help. Whether it be a parent, a teacher or a friend. Teachers especially are examples of this verse, for their life is centered around guiding the weak and underdeveloped into strength, and not to please themselves but to help the students. The pastors and staff here at IGNITE play the same role, but I’m not doing math equations and reading about Shakespeare. I’m growing to become spiritually strong in Christ. God is using those who are strong to bear with my failings and lead me into success and strength. I’ve already had my fair share of conversations centered around the ways I’ve failed. But, succeeding that, I am guided into the right path and now find myself stronger and closer to Christ than I ever thought I’d be. And I’m not done yet. Now, as I’m learning and growing, I’m able to come alongside those who are struggling to bear the things I once carried and help them carry it. I can comfort those who are discomforted with the comfort I’ve received. I can strengthen and encourage the weak through the word of my testimony and point them again to the one who gave me my strength, Jesus. As I look to Christ in the ways I minister to others, deny myself, and pick up my cross, I can say that no ministry is done with the intention of pleasing myself. It has become ingrained in my heart to love helping and watching the weak be helped by the strong. Most often its not being the one to strengthen but to watch others be strengthened by the strong that makes my heart leap in joy. At the same time though, I know there are times where I will pass the weak in fear of not knowing what to say or do to help them bear the weight. I could be related to the Levite or priest who passed by the man who was beaten and bruised and left for dead. I desire so deeply to be the Samaritan man all the time, but I also have my failings in weakness. But, Jesus always comes up behind those failings and strengthens me and gives me grace to carry on, asking and encouraging me to stop for the next man on the road.

Use Your Freedom To Serve

Galatians 5:13

ESV

“For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.”

This verse speaks a lot in conjunction with a verse I read today. God has put on my heart to begin getting up an hour earlier with Proverbs 20:13. “Love not sleep, lest you come to poverty; open your eyes, and you will have plenty of bread.” I surely have the freedom to sleep until 6, plus the occasional few extra minutes. However, God has convicted me that in this season of life that I’ll never get again, I should be taking advantage of all the time that's available. Sleeping in does have its advantages, but also has its disadvantages. For me, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Learning discipline, commitment, perseverance, and relying on the Lord for my strength will be invaluable in future seasons. Plus, theres nothing like the stillness and quiet of being awake before the birds even chirp. I seek to use the extra time to, obviously, grow my relationship with Jesus.

Secondly, the fact that we were called to freedom is another display of Gods love for us. He called me from heaven itself, and speaks every day from heaven. While I was still a sinner, Christ died for my freedom. And even more, when I knew of what Jesus did for me, I continued to sin. There were times where I would try to take advantage of Gods grace and use it as an excuse to sin. To use the freedom to try to get what I wanted, which always wound up never being enough. But, then God called me higher. He sent me here to IGNITE, to turn off the noise and to transform me into someone who knows the freedom and grace but no longer takes advantage of it. The more God reveals about Himself, the more I want to please Him and worship Him and be thankful for everything He gives me, big or small.

Become All Things To All Men

1 Corinthians 9:22

NKJV

“To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some.”

What a timely verse this is in light of the Perspectives article we just read about adapting the Gospel to suit the culture of others. Not to say that we change the content of the Gospel, but we share it in such a way that they will be able to receive it within the context of their culture. And God fully supports it! As IGNITE alumni and leaders have shared of their past experiences, becoming ingrained in the culture I am going to enter is crucial to building relationship and leading people to Jesus. This doesn't just carry over into continental/country-specific cultures either, it carries into my home, my work, my friend groups and so on. Just as Philip met the Ethiopian Eunuch where he was at personally, I need to learn how to meet others where they are. At the time I didn't think I was, but looking back there was certainly instances of forcing the gospel down throats rather than sitting them down and getting to know their appetite and what they could handle. I should have found out what meal was next for them and not trying to feed them a three-course dinner when they’ve yet to have their morning coffee. I will meet people in vastly different stages of life and if I ever want to win a single soul, being able to come to their level and minister to them there is crucial. It not only provides an example of humility, but displays the love of Christ which will go to the depths of hell to rescue the one that left the hundred. There are friends and family who I know need Christ. I feel the tendency to want to go and save them all at once but I’m learning that each one has different timing and I need to understand where they’re at before I can come to them and introduce Christ. Jesus met them all where they were at, whether it be the woman at the well, to the paralytic, to the rich young ruler. He knew where each one was and what they needed and supplied the answer.

Out Of Reverence

Ephesians 5:21

ESV

“submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

Lay down your life. Give up your rights. Toss them out the window. Jesus did, for though He was fully God and fully man, He didn’t count equality with God a thing to be grasped (Phil. 2:6). Jesus was fully submitted to the will of His Father in everything. There wasnt a word He spoke, place He went, or action He took that wasn’t what God wanted. Jesus submitted out of reverence for His Father. Therefore, I ought to submit to my brothers and sisters out of reverence for Christ. Submission can look like a lot of different things in many different situations but it boils down to being willing to compromise, to give up always wanting to do what you want and what you say. I don't have the greatest ideas but there are times where what I suggest does follow through. But, there's also times where I need to allow others ideas and vision to come into play and be willing to work with what they bring. For me, its just about being quiet more often than not and letting any ideas be meditated upon and prayed through. If it is from God, it will stick and it will happen, but I can't force something that I just pulled out of a hat. Christians aren't supposed to be magicians, we are followers of an ultimate magician who works wonders beyond imagination. I haven't got any rights then to come and say that what I come up with is the sole answer. God is infinite and wise and unendingly creative, and isn't limited to one idea. Since the one who created me, and billions of others, all uniquely, I should not be bound to myself, but silently submit to what others would like to do more often. “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Phil. 2:4) While it is in my interest to participate in decisions, since its always a team effort, its also in others interest to be able to guide the direction of the decision and not feel like they've got to submit to my ideas. Again, it all boils down to tossing my self out the window in a sense. If Jesus submitted to the point of death for the good of others, so should I, and so shall I.

Do This With Joy

Hebrews 13:17

ESV

“Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.”

Everyone is on my side here. They’re in the bleachers, cheering me on. They are the coaches, giving me pep talks during halftime and timeouts. They can coach me because they first were coached. There's nothing to be mistrusted about them, so therefore there is no reason to not follow what they ask. They never have truly have a day off. While they physically may, I am always lifted up in prayer each day by them, and they fight the battle alongside me. They freely give me the battle plans for success because they had been freely given to. They aren’t perfect by any means, and neither am I. What matters is they are putting in their best to represent the leadership skills of Christ. In one way or another, I’ve seen the character qualities of Christ displayed in the leadership and alumni staff. Secondly, joy is an advantage. As a Christ follower, my joy comes from the Him, and the joy of the Lord is my strength. I couldn't imagine how life would be without the joy I’ve found in Christ, but I can be sure I would have a lot more groaning, a lot more complaining, no joy and no strength. My joy is what allows me to look at a situation and see the good it can bring, to face it head on confidently, and confront it as a lion. And as a result, I have advantage. I take the win in Christ. I can recall plenty of times where receiving with groaning led me into a darkened mindset. Most often I would be asked to do one thing, and then when I finished they'd come back and tell me it was actually to be done another way. It would just make me bitter and impatient that I had to take more of “my” time to do it. But that wasn’t right in any sense. I've learned an immense amount of flexibility through those experiences to the point I can now welcome a change with joy and not find my heart darkened and hardened. There are times I slip but now God catches and convicts me of it, and I can quickly recover into joy and strength again. I can truly believe that there is a team of people on my side, fighting with and for me.

Obey Your Parents

Ephesians 6:1 and Colossians 3:20

"Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord."
Colossians 3:20

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right."
Ephesians 6:1

It would be easy for me to say I always obeyed my parents, until I get to ‘all things’. I was the good, responsible kid growing up and always was obedient in my own eyes. But that's where I was wrong. “All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the spirit,” says Proverbs 16:2. I was self-righteous to a certain degree because of the responsibility and trust I was given, thinking more highly of myself than I ought to. The first thing that comes to my mind where I especially fell short in obeying my parents was homework. There were plenty of times where I was told to do homework but ended with 15 missing assignments at the end of the semester. I easily could have been an A student but because of my lackings, especially in integrity and true responsibility, I was a C/B student, barely scraping by at the end of the semesters. When senior year rolled around I was an A/B student but I now believe I could have pulled A’s if I had put my priorities in line. But, I was too consumed doing me. Playing video games, watching Netflix, and working. Doing everything but what needed to be done. So, therefore, I lived for years in rebellion against what my parents asked me to do, and ultimately what the Lord asked me to do. Now as I’m here in IGNITE, I’ve come to the full understanding that all things I’m asked to do is from God, that they’re never too much for me to handle, and that I am to do it with all my heart and soul. Anything less than my best is the worst. It doesnt matter what it is, it should be done with my full heart, as unto the Lord. Everything I get to do is a privilege, a gift from God. I wouldn't be able to participate in anything if He hadn’t awoken me and given me breath to begin with, so who am I to complain and procrastinate what the Lord has given me to do? I’ve come to a point now where I desire for God to stretch me beyond my limits, to discover how limitless He is and that I have full access to it. I desire to discover who I truly am not, and then find who He truly is for me in the midst of my shortcomings and weaknesses.

Present Yourselves

Romans 6:16

ESV

“Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness?”

Present yourselves. Presentation is incredibly important in the Christians life, for the way you live your life is a presentation of what you believe. Each day as you go into the world, your life needs to reflect the heart of God. You are the presenter standing on stage of life and the audience is the world. As they watch you, your life, not your words, is what will convince them that what you are a slave to, who you serve, is worth giving their life to. They will know you, and in turn know God by the fruits you produce. A bad tree is a tree thats fed by sin, which will wither away and decompose. If I’m living in a way that makes my tree die, if I’m fed by sin and they see the end result of death within the way I live, they have every right to walk away. Especially if I’m preaching Christ with my words but doing the exact opposite in my life. But, if I’m obedient follow the word of God which has been given to me, the fruits I bear will have much more weight than any words I could speak. The audience will ask questions and seek out how my tree is bearing fruits they’ve never seen before. As I am a faithful witness and follower of Christ, the people will follow. They will come, and because I’ve spent my time soaking in the Word I will be prepared to lead them into the abundant life God has for them. I have walked where they have not and I will be able to lead them through it. So may I long and yearn to be an obedient slave to Gods word, to what He calls me to, and is calling me to. May my life present the gospel in a way that my words never could. May I daily present my life as a living sacrifice to God, giving up my rights to accomplish His will. For God, I am a mouthpiece, I am a tool, I am a vessel for His glorification. As I diligently seek Him, I will be rewarded for the sacrifices I make, both in this life and the next. In God’s economy, I’m not just a bond servant or slave, I’m a son too and He will not neglect to give me the portion of rewards I am due for the sacrifice I have given.

Obey God Rather Than Men

Acts 5:29

NKJV

But Peter and the other apostles answered and said: “We ought to obey God rather than men.”

As I read this, I am reminded of what I had read in Deuteronomy 13. Moses had given them a grave warning about those who sought to draw others away from the living God to them. The warning was first about prophets and dreamers, but later included brother, son, daughter, wife, and friends. The punishment for those who advertised false gods was simple; death. If an entire city turned away from the living God, the punishment was even more severe; destroy all the inhabitants with the edge of the sword. Pile all the spoil into the center of the city, and then burn the city and all its spoil as a burnt offering for the Lord. The city would become a heap of ashes and never be built again. Now I would like to imagine that as Peter and the other apostles were facing the council and chief priests, they had this warning in mind. They knew what it meant to fear the Lord, and they knew the end of those who were trying to prevent them from glorifying the living God. They were aware that if they allowed themselves, if they chose, if they were swayed towards obeying and valuing the words and commands of these men, rather than God, they too could face the edge of the sword rather than being ones to wield it.

Something else to note about this scene. It wasn’t just one man answering. It wasn’t just “I” obeying God. It was Peter and the other apostles. It was “we”. These men stood together in their confidence of the Gospel. I imagine them all talking over each other, agreeing with one another and standing firm in the face of this opposition. No earthly authority would sway them when they had received the ultimate authority from God for the life they were called to. They were not afraid to go at these men boldly, believing that the Lion of Judah was going before them and was behind them, ensuring they would have success. The same God who protected others from the lions, the bears, the armies, the enemies, can and will protect these men from whatever will come their way. No created thing can come against the one who is and was and will forever be. So what reason could I ever, ever have to not believe that the same God who was with Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, David, Nehemiah, Jesus, the disciples, the apostles and all who have come after, will not also be with me and deliver me? “Who am I..?” said Moses. “But I will be with you…” said the Lord.

Through Suffering

Hebrews 5:8

ESV

Although He was a Son, He learned obedience through what He suffered.

Obedience through suffering. This reminds me first and foremost of parenting. Not only any parenting but that which my parents used on me, especially my mother. She was not afraid to use discipline in the form of a razor strap or a wooden spoon to teach me obedience. My parents wouldn't coddle me up and gently tell me to stop. If they had to ask too many times for me to obey, then the discipline came out. After suffering the consequences of my actions, I can confidently say I learned my lesson and was quick to obey. God has the ability to do the same, seeing as He was the one who created parents in the first place. That's not to say God Himself will come down and smack me upside the head when I continually disobey and get out of line, but He sure will use others to do so. Even my mother was a vessel for Him to teach me obedience. Now as I’ve become older and physical discipline has faded out for me, it now comes in ways much harsher to my pride. The after effects of pain that lasted a couple hours now can last a couple of days as the exhortation or rebuke is worked through and settles in my heart in response to prayer and the word of God. But, on the other end of the pain is true fruits. Lessons are learned, obedience in that area becomes natural, and I’m much more aware of how new sufferings, physical or spiritual, can make me stronger and better. Suffering sucks in the moment. However, I can look to the other side through the lens of Gods promises and see the victory and see the new depth it will create in me. Another aspect is that our adoption to God does not mean we will then never suffer, never be rebuked or exhorted, and never face challenges that want to pull us into darkness. Although we are sons and daughters, Gods love wont allow us to go on being who we were or are. He loves us enough to allow us to be tested by fire. To get burned, to get bruised, to get tossed around a bit, all so that we can then reflect His heart more to those around us, and in turn He is glorified.

It Takes Time

Hebrews 6:12

NKJV

“that you do not become sluggish, but imitate those who through faith and patience inherit the promises.”

Faith cannot be had without patience. I once struggled with the idea that much of what I ask God for should be done for me right away, within the moment to within the week. Of course, there was plenty of future goals that I didn't expect to come quickly but I always prayed for deliverance from my current struggles right away. I knew that God used trials to better us but I didn't think certain trials should last long, and to my surprise they usually didn't. But, the issue I've come to realize with that is my character never changed. My head grew but my heart didnt. It was stone cold as far as real change. Now, as I spend my days here in IGNITE I'm beginning to appreciate the trials and spend much more time praying, reading Scripture, and seeking the Lord on specific things, aiming to in a sense prolong the trial to squeeze every drop out of it. I want heart change not a bigger head. The other side of this coin in the inheriting of promises. The Lords promises are daily proving true. While I do enjoy learning from the trials I face, it also can be easy to fall into mental isolation, weakness, and to feel down and out. But, each time I go to God to seek comfort, He’s always been right there. He’s spoken a word through someone, or given me a verse, or simply just brought comfort through His presence. I recall asking the Lord to help my ability to have better interpersonal conversations in the last week, and literally while still in prayer, someone came up and talked with me much longer than I thought was possible for me. Sometimes I do have to wait for the promises, but other times they come straight away after a prayer of faith. Either way, I learn much from both. God is so incredibly sovereign. It blows my mind the manners by which He answers prayers and fulfills promises, and I always look forward to seeing the new way He moves the mountain. He has an infinite toolshed to accomplish His mission. He can use dynamite, a shovel, and excavator, dig a tunnel through the mountain, or simply just carry me to the other side of it. No matter what tool He uses, He will get me to the other side with joy in our hearts as we go together.

The Righteous Will See

Psalm 17:15

NLT

"Because I am righteous, I will see you. When I awake, I will see you face to face and be satisfied."

Because I am righteous, I will see you. While not directly spoken from God, this is a promise nonetheless. All of the word is inspired by God, breathed by God, so there’s no reason to doubt this. Then, if I doubt that I am righteous enough to fulfill this, I am also comforted in the fact that because of Christs blood and my acceptance of it, I am now robed in righteousness in the spiritual sense. I have full access to see Him. In Matthew 5, Jesus says “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” (v.8) Christ’s blood has also made me pure in heart, even though I may not believe it sometimes. When I awake, I can see Christ. I can come boldy to the throne and receive His love freely. Each morning I arise in the likeness of God. My identity in Him will never change, even if Satan tries to convince me otherwise. I am seated eternally in heavenly places and God has prepared a table for me in the presence of my enemies. I can come and eat and drink at His table and commune with my Father at any moment. Whether it be 4am in the morning, or 3pm, when I call, He will answer. When I humble myself before Him, He will come. God sees me through the blood of the cross at all times and never once does His view of me change; holy, righteous, blameless, pure, a son of God, made in His image. Yet, here I sit on earth, and get so trapped in my head with the questions, confusion, despair, the struggle, the eternal war between the flesh and the Spirit. I can't just be content with the massive list of love God has poured out on me day and night. For some reason, these things won't settle within my heart for good. There's truly a spiritual war all the time, and the weapons the enemy uses to keep me distracted and tuned out from God have worked for some time now, and I know he won't quit, but only fight harder the closer I get to God. The funny part though? Satan has to use an army of demonic soldiers to get to me, he has to constantly hound me to bring me down, so I'm definitely doing something right, and he’s definitely weak if it takes an army to trip me up. Meanwhile, one prayer with someone can tackle and pin his entire army to the ground. The spiritual weapons God gives us are infinitely more powerful, I just need to be more proactive in fighting with them.

He Has My Back

Phillipians 4:11

ESV"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content."

As Paul goes on to say, he has learned the secret to facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. While I may have learned this secret too, its another story to face it with joy. I can push through and persevere, but I have the tendency to do it through my own strength and find myself in an inner war. I try to fight with my own defenses rather than the spiritual weapons God will freely equip me with. I then find myself discontented within as a result of using my own weapons. And no duh! My flesh will never be satisfied! It will never be strong enough and isn't what to cling to when I am in abundance or need. I try to be content with what I can do through myself, and more often than not its subconscious. Therefore, my discontentment comes through relying on the flesh rather than God. I have yet to learn to be content with God. To settle in my heart that I am good with God and He has everything I need in any and all seasons. I tend to complicate my belief in God and thus find myself frustrated and walking away from the altar because I can’t get beyond my own thoughts. And as a result, I cant receive from God and spend true intimate time with Jesus to receive what I need to be content in my life. Among all this struggle and frustration however, I find peace and comfort in how simple God puts it. There’s always the one verse that appears that completely centers my uncentered soul. That puts things back into perspective. That reminds me it isn't called the simple gospel for no reason and I need to stop complicating it. There are appropriate times to dig deep in Gods word, and I all too often fall into the trap of doing such. However, learning to stop digging and behold what Gods word says at face value is what must happen for me. Read and believe. Dont question it, just believe what it says and trust that God will fulfill His truths. I trust that God will bring me to that point of letting His word simply settle within me, but it will take time.

Who Can Compare?

Hebrews 13:5

NKJV

Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Who can compare to our God? What can compare to our God? The answer is simple, there is nothing. Not in the heavens above or the earth below. The Lord left a purposeful hole in my heart that only He can fill. How saddening it can be to look at the world and see how people try to fill that hole with things God created, worshiping the creation rather than the creator. Even at this point in my relationship with Christ and the level of contentedness I’ve come to, I still can find myself worshiping the creation in my heart. There’s a fine line between worshiping the creation and appreciating it. It’s one of those things which requires a simple flick of a switch in my heart to set the perspective correct. To shine light on the true way for me to enjoy what God has created, and what He has given me. Ultimately, the reason I can find myself looking to creation to fill that hole, is I haven’t spent the necessary time it requires to be filled to overflowing. I’m building a lifestyle of receiving from the throne of grace more than ever now, especially when compared to when I was blatantly standing in the quicksand of the world. I’m so incredibly thankful that God guided me here to Ignite. I’m sure I would have kept wandering back into that quicksand, and it’s a goal of mine to build safety bumpers in my heart so when I do begin to stray towards the gutters at the left or right that I won't fall in. Will I trip here and there? Yes, but that's what the bumpers are for. Not only am I building those bumpers, but I also have the Holy Spirit built in to set off warnings and convictions in my heart when I’m going astray. I hope to find myself always going back to the question “Who can compare?” and confidently say “Nothing”.

You Get What You Get

Luke 3:14

NKJV

“Likewise the soldiers asked him, saying, “And what shall we do?” So he said to them, “Do not intimidate anyone or accuse falsely, and be content with your wages.”

Just as these soldiers had to learn to be content with their wages, so have I. Thankfully, I believe that the worst seasons of discontentment materially are behind me. I was only interested in making more money, to buy more stuff, for all the wrong reasons. It was for my own satisfaction. But, as I quit my job as a valet and transitioned into making less and working less as a delivery driver for my dad, I learned at a greater depth how vain it was to pursue what the world had to offer. The less time I worked, going from a 9-5 with about 2 hours of traffic, to 6-11 with rarely any traffic taught me how much I really didn't need in life. I could've gotten another job to make more money. But, then I would sacrifice the time I was now blessed with to spend more time at church and growing with Christ. And the best part? There was never a point where I didn't have what I needed. The number would get low, yes, but even I wouldnt be ran dry. I learned too that the more money I had in my account working as a valet, the more anxious I got. I remember one day when I had gotten home from work (as a driver), and being so content with what I had. I had just read Matthew 6:26, where Jesus spoke about how the Father cares for the birds who don't do anything but eat, sleep and sing, and yet He provides for them. So therefore, being made in the image of God, He would provide for my needs as well. As I stood on the porch of my 100 sq.ft. bedroom that I shared with my brother, with a half finished bathroom and various spiderwebs on the ceiling (because the room was next to a horse riding arena), and looked out at the simple truck I now owned, parked at a 55 acre horse ranch property outside a small town, I had truly experienced contentment. I had everything I needed, and more. I didn't do anything to deserve it, but because of Gods grace and mercy for me, I got to be loved by Him. The best part wasn’t even what I was content with, it was that as the sun set while standing on the porch, the same birds Jesus spoke about were singing and flying around the barn in front of me. God has reminded me of this story for a reason. Now knowing that I’m going across the planet for 6 months, I take comfort that the God who created and loves and provides for those birds, will also provide for me, His child, His son, to live and serve Him in Uganda.

The Essentials

1 Timothy 6:6-8

NKJV

“Now godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content.”

Godliness, food and clothing. Three utter essentials of life. Those outside the faith would disagree, but Gods word doesn’t care for the disagreements man has. For true life to be experienced, I must learn to love being content with such. Not to say I’m not, for I enjoy simplicity, and I can’t find contentment without simplicity. After living a room smaller than some bathrooms for the past year at home, I now appreciate having things within reach, having things simple and clean and organized. There’s so much I’ve thrown away that all I own can be moved from one place to another with a single car load. And in that, paired with the simplicity of following Christ, I find great contentment. I don't need more, and I don’t need to throw anything else out. I thank God for the simplicity of the gospel in light of my lifestyle now. They pair so well together and I wouldn't want it any other way. God made one way to Him, through the cross of Jesus. Everything I’ll ever need is within reach, just a prayer away, just a verse away, just one moment of humility away. Forgiveness, grace, strength, peace, perseverance, love, and much more. Jesus, the man seated at the right hand of God in heaven, is but a syllable away. His ear is always inclined to my voice, and He’s always prepared to be my refuge and strength in times of trouble. He truly is all that I need. I’m reminded of when Jesus shared how we should store up our treasures in heaven, not on earth, for those things on earth are purely temporal and rust and moth will destroy it all. Why would I ever want to yearn for more material things when I cant bring them with me to heaven? Only the things I do for the kingdom of God will last, and the riches I’ll have in heaven can’t even compare to what I’ll earn in a lifetime. Why try building my life upon the world? That will leave me with a house of straw that will burn when tested with fire. I should focus solely on building His kingdom, doing things for His glory, and in return He will pour out lavishly all things for my enjoyment. God knows the things I enjoy as well and won't neglect to give me opportunity to experience those things this side of heaven, but I must not fix my eyes on earth, but on heaven and His righteousness, and these things will be added upon me. And not only that, but I will discover a house made of gold and precious stones awaiting me in heaven.

The Island

Revelation 1:9

NKJV

"I, John, both your brother and companion in the tribulation and kingdom and patience of Jesus Christ, was on the island that is called Patmos for the word of God and for the testimony of Jesus Christ."

Just as John was on the island of Patmos, I find myself on an island surrounded by an ocean of grace. I can go for a swim in His grace whenever I please, and rely on Him to give me patience and perseverance in the tribulations and trials I encounter every day. I’m on this island for a year, and I arrived not too long ago. My boat, my escape route, has long floated away into the expanse, beyond the horizon. I’m beyond escaping what God has for me. Of course, there's the option of closing up like the clams of this age, to seclude and recede into myself like the tide recedes into itself. But God. He’s here with me on this island. I came here for one purpose, and I knew in my heart I wouldn't want to escape once I arrived. I’m here for the same reason John went to Patmos. This island is where I meet with Jesus in a way that changes everything. I’ve come for the word of God, for the testimony of Jesus Christ, and to receive revelation of who He is for me. What excites me most about this island is success is guaranteed when my heart is open. John wrote this in past tense. What he came for he received. He opened the door that Jesus knocked on and experienced dining with Him in an incredible experience. Just as John had to endure his time on the island, I find comfort that as I’m on mine, I will make it alive to the other side. You could ask “What if you die? What if you didn't make it back?” but then I’d share the comfort I’ve received from Paul. To live is Christ, to die is gain. My life is in the hands of the King of Creation. He’s the one who fashioned me in my mother's womb and dreamt of me before time began. He’s the same God who was faithful to deliver Noah, Abraham, Moses, David, and many others, and I’m no exception to His love, protection and provision. So what will I do with this time on the island I’ve come to? Will I clam up and not receive the words of eternal life? No. I will open my heart each morning in the presence of my Lord as the flower opens its petals to the rays of the sun. Then, I will receive. Receive the nourishment. When the hot days, the cold days, the cloudy and the sunny days come, I will stand tall and strong, and endure each season. Dipping myself in the ocean of grace each morning as I walk down the sand singing praises to His name and thanking Him for another day on this island to hear the word of God.

Strengthened By Him

Colossians 1:11

NLT

“We also pray that you will be strengthened with all his glorious power so you will have all the endurance and patience you need. May you be filled with joy.”

I’ve found myself spending lots more time doing work, not only physically but mentally and spiritually. Learning how to channel Gods glorious power to help me push through barriers is an amazing experience. It’s something that strikes me with awe and wonder as I’m all of a sudden filled with supernatural energy and strength in the midst of work after calling upon Jesus. When we were shoveling snow yesterday to clear spaces to park vehicles, I had this verse and similar ones playing through my mind. God is teaching me what it means to push through, and today He also revealed some rewards of overcoming. Overcoming tribulation, distress, persecution, famine, nakedness, peril and sword. In the face of all this I am more than a conqueror through Christ who loves me and strengthens me to endure. During those moments of greatest weakness He proves Himself strong and able and faithful to pour out grace for my need. As we shoveled I kept pushing through, keeping my head down and relying on Him to get me over the wall, through the barrier, across the valley. The best part however wasn't in the work, wasn't in the perseverance, of the receiving of strength. It was to see how God rewards those who are faithful to persevere. We had at least half of the block to shovel out still, when we are all in the thick of shoveling, when the plow truck came out to help. All I could see in that plow truck was the hand of God. As I was faithful to focus on the task God put before me, He rewarded me by moving the rest of the mountain. Would I have continued shoveling until it was finished? Yes. But, in God's love He came and did the heavy work. He took the burden, took the hit, took the punch and split the sea for me. If that wall of snow was the Book of the Law, then that snowplow was the love of God showing itself through the crucifixion of Jesus. He bore all the weight and burden of my sins and I was left with a weight so small, and a team surrounding me to help clean up the mess. God has surrounded me with a family who I can trust in to have my back, to help me push through, and to help grow, one shovel full at a time.

Possess Your Souls

Luke 21:19

NKJV

“By your patience possess your souls.”

What is possession? One of the definitions is ownership. I find it interesting that we are to own our own souls. That we are to win our soul, and gain our lives. This actually interests me much more than than the means by which we attain that goal. Why would I want to win my soul? What benefit is there in that? I reason that because my soul is credited with the functions of thinking and willing, Jesus found it necessary to instruct me to take hold of my soul. In order to live a life worthy of the calling of Christ, my thoughts and will needs to be aligned with the His thoughts and His will. I need to conform to the image of Christ, walk in the light as He is in the light and have the mind of Christ. Possessing my soul is of utmost importance. If I’m not in possession of my soul, then it can be very easy to fall away into the world. When my thoughts and will aren't aligned with Christ's, then it opens the floodgates for any other influence to come in and take residence and direct my life. I recall the days where I wasnt under true possession of my soul. My thoughts would be full of evil, and my will would be pointed towards my wants and desires. The despair that left me in was crippling. I wasn't designed to allow my soul to be blown to and fro by any wind of doctrine. I am to possess my soul in accordance with the mind of Christ. Thankfully, God has a solution for both the thoughts and will. He gave me the mind of Christ for my thoughts and His word to reveal His will. Both unfortunately and fortunately, it takes time to learn to possess the soul. I've grabbed hold pretty firmly of my own, but there are still plenty of times where I leave the door cracked and the demons sneak in. My mind runs astray for some time but the magnet of Christs love is so strong I always find myself pulled back to Him. To say it takes patience, endurance, and perseverance to get to that point is an understatement. Words can't express the journey my heart went on to get where it is. My hearts experience will continue to be unexplainable as I seek God and grow a stronger grip on the waywardness of my soul, to keep it set in on things above and not things in the earth.

Parable of the Sower

Luke 8:11-15

NKJV

“Now the parable is this: The seed is the word of God.  Those by the wayside are the ones who hear; then the devil comes and takes away the word out of their hearts, lest they should believe and be saved.  But the ones on the rock are those who, when they hear, receive the word with joy; and these have no root, who believe for a while and in time of temptation fall away.  Now the ones that fell among thorns are those who, when they have heard, go out and are choked with cares, riches, and pleasures of life, and bring no fruit to maturity.  But the ones that fell on the good ground are those who, having heard the word with a noble and good heart, keep it and bear fruit with patience."

The rarity that the word of God lands on the good soil of my heart hurts to think about. There are so many hours of sermons I’ve listened to, thousands of words I've read, and so much time spent in studies, I thought I'd be so much further along by now. But, Jesus expected it, and even more, knew it would happen to me when He spoke this parable.I've experienced each of these four scenarios, as I imagine every other Christian has, and those who aren't Christians as well (because there are those who have heard but had the word snatched away by the Devil). Not as often have I experienced the word being tossed on the wayside, because that was mostly through childhood years where Mom and Dad would bring me to church or speak verses into my life but it would go over my head. Although, some word did land unknowingly in my heart as the fruit of salvation has been yielded for me. The seeds landing on the rocks and among thorns are all too familiar. I can remember many a time when I would walk out of a service being overflowing with the Spirit and loving God, and later that day and week falling away from the intimacy with God as I faced testings and temptations. I had no root, and even now my root isn't as deep as it needs to be. In a similar way as the rock, I also experienced the thorns. The two really worked together to keep me from a deeper relationship with Christ and developing a root. Not even a year ago I was obsessed with making money and buying car parts with it. I had all the dreams and passions of pursuing what the world had to offer, the money, the career, the status. Those selfish desires coupled with the trials and temptations drove me into a deeper relationship with myself than with Christ. The worst part? They always led to dead ends and dissatisfaction. I wouldn't have enough money, or my car wasn't fast enough or clean enough or up to my ever evolving vision of what I wanted it to be and it left me empty. My priorities were so wack that I’d have to decide whether to tithe or buy another part. Thankfully I’ve moved on from all that, but there are certainly still lingering rocks and thorns. As all of this led me to emptiness, I found myself desiring to truly seek God. I need that root grown so deep that no one or no thing could uproot me from my confidence and satisfaction in Christ. So, here I am in IGNITE, desiring to have my heart tilled into good soil, that I may yield a crop a hundredfold and have my heart rooted and fed by the divine fertilizer of the Word of God and the water of His love for me.

Live Carefully With Wisdom

Ephesians 5:15-17

"So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days.  Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do."

I'm thankful for the way that NLT has translated this verse, for it has brought it into completely new light and depth for me as I read over it. These verses speak more to me about the way to live generally when following Christ than about wisdom.

However, living the way mentioned here does require wisdom. Living circumspectly has always been something that circulates my mind at least every few days, although it really should be daily. I’ve found that when I'm not being careful to live my day out carefully I often stumble into saying things I shouldn't, or thinking in ways that aren't paralleled with the mind of Christ. There is grace for the fact that I’m just now learning these things, but that doesn't give me an excuse to not pursue living this way. As I think back on the times I’ve fallen into sinful ways, it obviously stemmed from my own flesh but also from not being careful to live in a God honoring way. I never took the time to sit down and pray, or get myself out of bad situations, or even just shut up. I just floated along with the breeze, or rather the hurricane force winds as I just skipped along the road to death. No. Thats wrong. Thats careless. Its blind. Its acting thoughtlessly, not thinking of the God who loves and saved me from myself. I yearn so deeply to live in a way that honors God. I desire to always be conscious of the Lord in all my ways, but I'm also humbled by the fact that I'm still human. I’ll never get where I dream of being in this life, but I will press on toward a life that reflects Christ. As I fear the Lord, the light will show the path that leads me to life, as long as I don't get ahead of myself, or Christ.

Saying With Confidence

2 Corinthians 1:12

"We can say with confidence and a clear conscience that we have lived with a God-given holiness and sincerity in all our dealings. We have depended on God’s grace, not on our own human wisdom. That is how we have conducted ourselves before the world, and especially toward you."

The day will come when I can confidently agree with Paul. These days are not those days, at least in my moment to moment and day by day view. I may look back and find in my reflection of this year that I truly did rely on God in all my dealings once I got through the rough patches and over the walls of Jericho. Paul and his bros could do it, and so can I, because we both serve the same God. The same grace that was in Paul's favor is in mine, and I WILL learn to depend on that grace in all my dealings, and not human wisdom. I love that Paul makes note of the fact that his holiness is God given. He makes no effort to claim the glory for himself. He makes no effort to say it was by his works that he was made holy. All too often I beat on myself when I'm not measuring up to Gods standard, not fulfilling what I know His word says. I try to gain my holiness, while at the same time also knowing that I AM made holy by Christ's sacrifice and my repentance. The weight of the burden this brings is difficult to say the least. I ask the Lord to remove the burden and yoke of the bondage of the heaviness but I will find myself still feeling the weight which is discouraging to say the least. I need to learn to rest in the truth that my identity is from God, my holiness and sanctification and righteousness is from God. Yes, there's my side of the wall where I turn the dials but I cant turn my dials until I believe that His grace truly IS sufficient in my times of need, that He abounds in mercy, is full of love, and I don't need to stress trying to be righteous or holy or set apart. It is a natural process that I can't force. I’m reminded of an analogy. You don't ever see an apple tree making a squinting face trying to squeeze apples out. It just happens naturally as it spends more time being nourished and in the light. In the same way, my walk with Christ is to be the same. I am to do my part of consecrating myself and the fruits will come naturally. I will find myself reflecting the word of God in my life without trying to squeeze it out in my own strength, which, in my experience, is a terrible experience. Definitely not the way to do things.

He Supplies What You Lack

James 1:5

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”

Ask and you shall receive. You have not because you ask not. You have not because you ask amiss, desiring to spend it on your own pleasures. I look back on my life and laugh at the silly things I once prayed for. I imagine I will look back on the time I wrote this and laugh too at some of the things I prayed for. Once upon a time so many of my prayers would be directed toward my self, toward my own goals and desires. As time passed and those things didn't come to pass I’ve learned to stop praying for many things about myself that doesn't glorify God. Yes, there are still things I pray for that have self interwoven, and I do my best to repent of the ones I do and don't notice. I find so much more satisfaction now in praying for others, intercession, praying for things that will give me what is needed to glorify the Lord. It just so happens that this weeks theme is wisdom, a characteristic so pure and good in the sight of the Lord, if its from above of course. I find as I reflect upon this verse that I truly don't ask enough of the God who desires to pour Himself upon and in me. Whether it be wisdom, love, grace, guidance, strength, endurance, or anything else I need in the moment. I cannot be content with thanking the Lord, praying for others, asking for a fresh filling of the Holy Spirit and then going about my day. I need to be asking God also to pour Himself into my heart, to nourish and prune my own heart and character. What a difference it would make if I entered His presence not just for Him and others, but for myself, to be healed, taught, guided, grown, loved by Him. He LOVES me. But, there's a catch. Just one space later, in verse 6, God speaks this through James “But let him ask in faith.” It all comes down to that. I could ask God all I want but it would all be in vain if I wasn't anchored in faith and having an expectant hope of receiving what I so desire, to reflect the heart of God through the light that shines in me. I pray that the Lord continues to brighten the lamp of my body, the eye, as His love penetrates the layers of my heart I didn't know existed, so that others will look in my eyes and see more Jesus and less me.

Fear of the Lord

Psalm 111:10

"The fear of the Lord  is the beginning of wisdom; A good understanding have all those who do His  commandments. His praise endures forever."

The fear of the Lord. As I write that, it is still a mystery to me as to what it consists of. The state of mind that comes along with that is unknown to me, as is expected with not having been enlightened of truth of something. On Mondays class with Pastor Steve we were discussing the grasping of concepts in relation to Calculus and Tozers book and who knows what else we found along the rabbit trail. Now as I read the verse over and reflect on the teaching, I realize the reason it won't fully click is because I haven’t grasped the concept of the fear of the Lord. I find myself now in the midst of a revelation about myself, and I couldn't be in a better place to nurture and grow and stretch it. The Lord wants to strengthen my foundation in Him by giving me understanding of concepts I never knew existed or thought I didn't need to know. Being that God's word is all truth, and this verse is no exception, I find I now have an urgent task to fulfill. To grasp the fear of God so I can grow more fruit, more effectively, especially the fruit of wisdom, and thus glorify God through my life. The NLT says the verse in a slightly different way which gives even greater depth to the importance of the fear of God. It says that it is the very foundation of wisdom. What this shows me is it's not ONLY the faith, or God, or Christ as the cornerstone which makes a solid foundation which can produce everlasting fruits. The fear of the Lord plays just as large of a role as the others. I need to understand this concept, this truth, this surely humbling aspect of my relationship with God. I don't want to waste time building a house with a foundation that isn't solid in every possible aspect, just to have to tear down the walls again to strengthen the foundation. I wouldn't want to build a ministry if I didn't have the core beliefs solid, and in the same way I shouldn't desire to begin building my life (through and with God of course) without first having the foundational, doctrinal, theological truths written on the tablet of my heart and hung upon my neck first.

God is Wisdom

James 3:13-17

"Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth. This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic. For where envy and self-seeking exist,confusion and every evil thing are there. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy."

God is wisdom. The pillars of the earth were placed, the seas and mountains formed, the humans and animals, built with dust, all using God's wisdom. We are made in the same image as this God. Not the exact image, for we are not the original copy. However, having the veil that was in front of our eyes torn in two at the revelation of Christ's sacrifice, now puts the responsibility, and privilege, of reflecting God's wisdom in our lives. Will I have the power to use wisdom at the scale of God? No, not by any means. But, I do get to use wisdom to make eternal changes. How do I begin to establish this wisdom as a way of life? By fulfilling exactly what this passage speaks. Good conduct. How many times I have found myself making a stupid mistake and learning from it I can't count. From not eating breakfast before school and suffering all the way through till lunch, to getting careless cleaning the Ninja blender and slicing open a finger. The level of pain experienced through my mistakes has had a direct effect on how quickly I learn to stop being stupid and be ‘wise and understanding.’ It took much longer to get myself to eat breakfast in the morning than to learn not to cut open a finger. There's something in common with both situations. It stemmed from my own carelessness. Carelessness is a direct line to the envy and self-seeking and is the brother to earthly, sensual and demonic wisdom. I wasn't respecting the Holy Temple God has given me, so I didn't take the time and care to eat breakfast. I was rushing to get the dishes done so I could get to the things I wanted to do, therefore I ended up cutting my finger when I was unfocused. The Lord desires for us to walk circumspectly. I can’t do that when my mind is fixed on my own life and schedule. I should never rush to get to what I want to do. The Lord wants me to appreciate the time I'm gifted every moment, which is exactly where He is. The here and now. He wants to speak to me, and spend time with me, and be involved in all I do. Yet I find myself always rushing from His presence to get to my task list, then wonder why I'm burnt out so quickly. God doesn't want us to rush. The lyrics from a song remind me how we should all be with the Lord. “Im not in a hurry when it comes to your spirit, when it comes to your presence.” May we all learn to not rush from His presence, but to spend every moment with Him, and through that, experience life to the fullest. It is in those moments of greatest frustration where I sought the Lord for wisdom and He showed me the way, and each time I would find myself knowing the purity, peace, gentleness, etc. It is in those moments where I sought my self and as a result, ran to God in the midst of my failures, that God showed Himself in the most incredible ways. And while it sucks in the moment to make a mistake, when I look to God He grants me wisdom I forever will live by. I’m reminded of a phrase from Steven Furtick, “Release, Receive, Respond, Repeat.”

Persistence Brings Deliverance

Mark 10:47-52

"And when he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to cry out and say, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” Then many warned him to be quiet; but he cried out all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!” So Jesus stood still and commanded him to be called. Then they called the blind man, saying to him, “Be of good cheer. Rise, He is calling you.” And throwing aside his garment, he rose and came to Jesus. So Jesus answered and said to him, “What do you want Me to do for you?” The blind man said to Him, “Rabboni, that I may receive my sight.” Then Jesus said to him, “Go your way; your faith has made you well.” And immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus on the road."

Passages like this are always difficult for me. Having been a vessel for God to heal others of their pains/sicknesses in the past, and then turning around and needing healing myself and not receiving it, I find myself in rough spots and get bound by disappointment. If someone experiencing the same pain as I can be healed by a prayer of faith, why can’t I? What have I been doing wrong? Do I not have enough faith myself? I would think not, having believed and seen healing before. Of all the passages this week, this one hits home. My physical strength and endurance has always tended to be my greatest weakness, and out of that it spawns unbelief, disappointment, anger, seclusion, and ultimately I will tend to disconnect from God. I can hardly manage to keep myself in the moment once I hit that wall of physical weakness. It makes me all the more in awe of Jesus, how He was able to maintain His connection to the Father when He was so low on strength and was beaten and nailed to a cross. I find myself losing confidence in His word, because I become disappointed when not seeing the results I've seen before and seen in others. However, I know by many other testimonies and proof of His goodness in my life that I MUST be confident in His word. His word is always to be valued higher than my experience. His word is still true, and proves true every day, so I'm doing something wrong, and I cant wait until the Lord reveals to me what it is. I know that just as this beggar cried out persistently, if I do the same, I will see deliverance and find answers sooner or later. Obviously, being human, I prefer sooner.. But its not up to me. What I love most about this passage is this though. “Be of cheer. Rise, He is calling you.” No matter what, I trust that He is calling me, higher and higher. I’m so thankful for a God who hears and a God who does and will supply anything I need. Rise above the weakness, rise above the waves, walk through the fire unburned, slay the giant, kick down the walls, tear down the lies, and stomp the head of the devil with the heel of your foot through the power of His Holy Spirit. The highest part of hell is lower than the lowest part of heaven. God will deliver me from the shackles of physical weakness, and I will be made as strong as Samson by His grace. Edit: As I read over this I see that the answer to wondering what I’m doing wrong, I wrote in the sentence after. I’m not going to God sincerely when I’m in need just as the beggar needed did.